Google future

Since the initial announcement earlier in the year, Google has improving its future crawling software. Following last week’s soft-launch of this prescient technology (from Gmail you go to ‘more’ in the top navigation bar, then to ‘even more’ at the bottom of the drop down, google future is in the list under the ‘Search’ heading) we have future-googled Google to show you the exciting new Google apps due out in 2010. Why did we only search the future for info about Google? Well what else in the future could be as captivating. Although on a side note: iPhones will become extinct during 2009 as Barry White eats all remaining stocks; taking the world record title in the second inaugural iPhone eating competition.

Google Bingo

Google Bingo will be the killer app for the growing e-pensioner market. Various Bingo Archivers, from corporations to Individuals, have provided the raw data for Google’s full index of Bingo games going back to the great depression.

It is incredibly exciting that this historically important collection will be finally searchable and easily accessible to the world, in 2010. While sheer fascination for the general public is to be expected, the mental excercise for those trying to hold onto their memory in their old age will be an added bonus. Just imagining the old folks straining to recall a winning set of Bingo numbers from the good old days (before they could no longer play and had to switch to the pokies full time) makes my synapses feel fresh, radiant, and full of a hearty new respect for life.

Screenshot of Google Bingo search

Find out about “Google Fish” and “Google Warmonger” after the jump!

Google Fish

Google Fish is an internet based fish finder. To cut a long story short, it will find fish > for you. Using the underlying Google Maps interface, icons of fish, or icons representing schools of fish (depending on the zoom level and the data quality) will show up in their current locations. There should generally be no more than a few minutes delay (unless, like us, you are searching using Google Future in which case expect a 2 year delay as this app is not out yet!!). It will all be accomplished by fish sensitive orbital satellites! This application is set to stay in Beta for some time, as you will see there is some serious potential for misuse.

The system is quite open ended, and can be used for most, if not all, types of sea creature. So if you love what’s under the sea, and knowing where it is, you are in for a treat. Feast your eyes on this example of searching for ‘Whale’. Notice Migaloo the White Whale, as he swims up the east coast of Australia with his good buddies, at a relaxing yet healthy pace.

Whale Buddies

Whale Buddies

There is a danger in this though, as it leads people directly to fish and could result in overfishing. Whale Lovers please look away for the next image as it could be quite confronting. We had managed to identify an innapropriate location for Whales… Hopefully given that this application is not due for release for a couple of years, we have some time to stop this madness.

Whales in the wrong part of town (not the water)

Whales in the wrong part of town (not the water)

There is quite a lot of amazing uses for such a unique and all powerful tool as the google fishfinder, Google Fish. We have one last application to report on: which will also take advantage of the underlying Google Maps technology.

Google Warmonger

Google has really gone out (will go all out) with this one. Using a painful biological scan of the planet, Google’s crawlers are able to identify all troop movements across the globe, in this groundbreaking app coming up in late 2010. It makes for a more interesting and interactive spectating of international conflicts than the much more linear TV approach which first came into it’s own during the Vietnam War.

See here a typical image of a US led force as it approaches an unarmed North Korean town in the Coalition of the Righteous War to uncover widely reported Communist stem-cell researchers and abortionists.

Supposedly shortly after the release of Google Warmonger the Japanese will be utilising the API for a web 4.2 site, which combined with a huge army of Robots will allow netizens to perform a large scale international game of Risk. Personally, we can’t wait to have a crack at that!

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2 Responses to “Google future”


  1. 1 i'm not giving my name to a computer October 1, 2008 at 9:15 am

    BAHAHAHAH

    this is the most insightful thing i’ve read in recent times. i think the whale function is going to revolutionalise the world – i’m so glad i can look ahead and see if any are in the wrong part of town before venturing out of my house.

    great job!

    Sam

  2. 2 design October 4, 2008 at 8:04 am

    This is the most inspired thing I’ve read today!


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